How God Delivered Me From Legalism & Works-Based Faith

When I first got saved, I was instantly introduced to a very performance-based church that rigorously adhered to many Old Testament rules and unwritten regulations. Because I was a new Christian and ignorant of the Word, I took a lot of the teachings as truth.

Here are a few of them:

1. The requirement to pay tithes on gross income, along with additional offerings.

2. The belief that Christmas and Easter were pagan holidays that should not be celebrated.

3. The expectation to obey elders and church leaders without questioning their guidance.

4. Strict guidelines for women’s attire (skirts or dresses must be knee-length, avoiding exposed backs/shoulders/chests, spaghetti straps, or form-fitting clothing like leggings or skinny jeans unless covered by a longer top). Swimwear was also heavily regulated (so much so, many women would wear basketball shorts and t-shirts to the pool).

5. Restrictions on hair length: women were discouraged from cutting their hair unless absolutely necessary, and men were instructed not to have long hair.

6. Prohibitions against secular music and even strict limitations on Christian music, including avoiding genres like Christian rap or songs perceived as “worldly.”

7. The belief that dating was wrong, with courtship (referred to in this church as "getting to know" someone) in the church being heavily supervised and controlled. Couples interested in marriage were not allowed to kiss, hold hands, or spend time together without supervision. Late-night phone conversations were monitored, and their intent to marry was kept a secret from the congregation. During church gatherings, the "couple" would avoid one another, almost as if they didn't know each other. Members were also strongly discouraged from marrying anyone outside of the church.

8. The teaching that speaking in tongues was the definitive evidence of having the Holy Spirit.

9. No tattoos or piercings (other than simple ear piercings for women)

These rules were not merely encouraged but strictly enforced, with the implication that failure to adhere to them would send us to hell. I was a part of this church for about five years, and during this time, I wholly adhered to these rules out of a sincere desire to please God and obey Him, though I now understand that these teachings were manipulative, controlling, and completely unbiblical. 

Because this church taught a lot of novel doctrines, it was natural for church members to look down on and heavily condemn "Christians" who didn't follow these rules. People who visited the church and claimed to be Christians would have their whole spiritual journey disregarded until they became a member of this church and spoke in tongues (which was like this church's initiation). There was a huge spirit of superiority, and this was something I unfortunately got caught up in.

For example, when I would meet someone who claimed to be a Christian and they mentioned a boyfriend/girlfriend or had a nose piercing, I would automatically deem them as not "true" Christians in my mind. When I saw Christians using dating sites or listening to secular music, even if it was music about love or hope, I would condemn them to hell in my thoughts. I subconsciously looked down on every Christian who wasn't a part of my congregation. There was even a point in time when I truly believed that anyone who didn't go to my church wasn't really saved, and this was a direct result of the church's messaging and programming.

God led me to leave the church early last year, and one of the things God told me to do during the period when I was seeking him about leaving was to reread the New Testament. As I read chapter after chapter, I was astonished at how much I had been depending on works to save me -- on checking off boxes and lists. I was amazed to read all the scriptures that directly contradict not only controlling church authorities, but also legalism.

One of my favorites that truly floored me was Colossians 2:20-23, which reads:

If you died with Christ to the elements of this world, why do you live as if you still belonged to the world? Why do you submit to regulations: [21] "Don't handle, don't taste, don't touch"? [22] All these regulations refer to what is destined to perish by being used up; they are human commands and doctrines. [23] Although these have a reputation for wisdom by promoting self-made religion, false humility, and severe treatment of the body, they are not of any value in curbing self-indulgence.

This verse directly warns against human-imposed rules and rituals that appear pious but don't have any true spiritual value.

Not to mention Ephesians 2:8-9, which tells us, “For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast.” And Galatians 2:16, which says, “And yet we know that a person is not justified by the works of the law but by faith in Jesus Christ. Even we ourselves have believed in Christ Jesus. This was so that we might be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no human being will be justified.”

And our High Priest, Jesus, frequently contended with church people who regarded rules over true transformation and relationship. Why? Because when you focus on rules and appearing holier-than-thou, you are neglecting the true Christian principles of LOVE, mercy, kindness, and justice.

Through prayer, relearning and unlearning everything I knew about the Christian faith, therapy, finding community with cult survivors and sharing experiences with other believers, I've been able to break free from the chains of legalism and truly experience freedom in Jesus Christ -- a freedom where I allow the Holy Spirit, which will lead and guide us into all truth, to convict me. 

Nearly all of the rules I once rigorously followed at the church I formally attended are no longer part of my life. I now celebrate Christmas and Easter, understanding their significance in honoring Christ rather than focusing on debates about their origins. When it comes to clothing, I am no longer bound by rigid restrictions. I am still VERY mindful of my fashion choices, guided by personal conviction and a desire to honor God with my body, but I no longer adhere to rules imposed by others. I no longer pay tithes as if it were a requirement of the law, recognizing that we are no longer under the Old Covenant. Instead, I give cheerfully and prayerfully, seeking God’s guidance on how best to use my finances for His glory. I listen to a variety of music, including R&B, country, and indie, but I am still discerning in my choices. I avoid songs with profanity, unhealthy messages, or anything that stirs feelings of lust or leads me away from a Christ-centered mindset. Even still, I mostly listen to Christian music. (':

I also now understand that dating is not inherently wrong; it is a natural and necessary process of getting to know someone with the goal of marriage. Dating becomes wrong when it involves fornication (or any sinful sexual act outside of the confines of marriage) and being unequally yoked. Fornication is clearly against God’s Word; however, labeling acts such as kissing or holding hands as sinful is unbiblical. The focus in dating should always be on maintaining purity and honoring God in our relationships. There's no law against this.

The most important thing that being delivered from legalism has taught me is compassion. I no longer walk around with my head high like I'm this superior Christian. I no longer judge harshly and put people in heaven and hell in my mind. I know how important it is to love people, and that this is what will draw people to Him (John 13:55). 

I still believe that being a Christian will showcase a lifestyle that is different from the world (Romans 12:1-2). I still believe being lukewarm is wrong (Revelations 3:15-16). I still believe sins that are clearly defined as sin in the Bible are wrong (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). I just understand now that following a bunch of man-made rules won't save me, but it is by grace through faith that I will be saved. 

I want to end with Matthew 7:22-23, which reads, "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven. [22] On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, didn't we prophesy in your name, drive out demons in your name, and do many miracles in your name?' [23] Then I will announce to them, 'I never knew you. Depart from me, you lawbreakers!'

This verse shows clearly that there will be some people who followed rules to the death, and Jesus still didn't know them. So, readers, let's make sure we truly know Jesus and he knows us!